|
|
|||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
About Us
Pat Stango
Pat posing for a picture after being told "Hey, pretend that you're performing standup while I take this picture!".
Pat Stango hates annoying fake biographies, like ones where some dude (let’s call him Ted Rivera) will write “Oh I’m Ted Rivera and I starred in Gremlins 2 and kill giraffes for a living and I invented ninjas and robots and blah blah come see my improv troop PirateProv this Thursday night!” Seriously, Pat hates that. Why, you ask? Because Pat’s father worked his whole life writing fake website biographies for members of shitty improv comedy troops, and when he got too old to write fake biographies anymore they took him out back behind an IHOP and had flamingoes eat him to death. Which left young Pat and his five ninja siblings to be raised by a team of robot hillbillies. And that is why Pat hates fake biographies.
So just know that Pat is a comedian living in Brooklyn, who formerly edited NYU’s humor magazine The Plague and now makes short films with his good friend Blaine Perry.
And oh yeah, robot ninja improv pirates.
Blaine Perry
Blaine casually lounging around his apartment on a typical Saturday afternoon.
On June 22, 1980, a beautiful boy was born in the small fishing village of Bryan, Texas. Within minutes, word had spread among the simple inhabitants of this town that an amazing, radiant baby had arrived - possibly the new savior - and the villagers began gathering gifts to present to this new baby-deity. Unfortunately, due to a poorly negotiated physical handoff between the doctor and the mother, the baby dropped from its mother’s hands and fell headfirst onto the ground. To make matters worse, the doctor repeatedly kicked the baby in a fumbled attempt to expeditiously retrieve the newborn from the floor. After bouncing off several pieces of hospital equipment, the baby was finally swatted away by a door opened by an oblivious young medical resident. Sadly and comically, the baby died. But the Perry’s were determined to leave the hospital that day, baby in hand. The parents paid a quick twenty dollars to a jaded custodian to pull the fire alarm, and then stealthily swiped a Mexican albino baby from the nursery during the resulting tumult. That baby was Blaine Perry.
Blaine currently lives in a trendy Brooklyn neighborhood with his trendy girlfriend and three cats who are not trendy.
Steve Bossous
Steve celebrating the holidays at his temp job.
Steve Bossous is a comedic genius. He's also really good at comedy. He was born in Haiti, but moved to New York when he was two years old to pursue his career. He attended NYU from 1999 to 2003, a time he jokingly refers to as "The College Years" and currently has a day job working for The Man. His favorite comedians and influences include Richard Pryor, George Carlin, David Cross and that guy who's always cracking jokes on the A train. He has been doing stand-up since 2005, but has been interested in comedy since the fateful day in Junior High when he asked the most popular girl in school toprom and she laughed in his face, calling him a "joker." They say you don't choose your calling, it chooses you. They also say that being a complete social reject makes you funny. Lets all hope, for his sake, that both of these sayings are true.
Steve lives in Brooklyn, NY and when he is not eatingor sleeping, he can often be found on his couchwatching television.
Amanda Pettit
 Amanda at her day job as a Stepford wife. |
Amanda Pettit is from Huntington, Long Island and likes to do stand up comedy, act, and write. She's written for Mad Magazine, The Stanford Chaparral, and Four Magazine. She also did a daily cartoon for her college newspaper titled "Lazy Eyes," which despite offending a dozen close friends and family members, is based on no one in particular. Amanda's done stand up comedy at Gotham, New York Comedy Club, Rififi, Mo Pitkins, and the Broadway Comedy Club. She's performed in sketches and plays all over New York, including sketches on "Late Night With Conan O'Brien." She is currently studying under Harry O'Reilly at The Actors Alliance Studio. Amanda has a B.A. in English from Stanford, and a M.A. in not letting you forget about her B.A. She currently resides in Manhattan and is thrilled to be a part of "Don't Touch Me There." |
Roger Hailes
Roger displays his giant radioactive hand.
Roger Hailes is a tall handsome comedian with a kind face. He's written for MTV, Sony, Comedy Central and himself. His hilarious voice can be heard in commercials and video games. He's dazzled audiences on the Chappelle Show, VH1 and on stages all around the world. He was picked as Time Out New York's comedian of the week and this summer is headed to perform in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. But most importantly, he lives in New York City's East Village which is a very important place to live, no?
Eliza Faria-Santos
 Eliza "Coy as Fuck" Faria-Santos |
With her high voice and her innocent appearance, Brazilian-born Eliza Faria-Santos is quick to rattle the preconceptions that inevitably arise when people see her. After just a few months of performing stand-up comedy Eliza was chosen for NBC's Stand Up For Diversity and heralded by Broadcasting & Cable Magazine as someone to keep an eye on. "She made the Insider stop whining and start laughing. And as far too many people know, that ain't easy!" Eliza Faria-Santos can be seen regularly on the NYC comedy show circuit. You've seen her in the New York Comedy Festival, comedy charity shows, MTV's stand-up showcase, NBC Stand Up for Diversity, MTV.com, and Comedy Central's "Fresh Faces of Comedy." Eliza fluctuates between total megalomania and crippling insecurity, officially making her the world's only "Genius-Piece-of-Shit." She likes writing, performing and co-producing for "Dont Touch Me There" even more than she likes Xanax and she really, really likes Xanax. |